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Hetalia by princessminight

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Submitted on
January 1, 2013
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17 (who?)
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(Contains: strong language)
Warning: my fail attempt at crack. Strongly hinted Itacest, Germany being a pervert, and for lemony scented fiction. Read at your own risk.

Ah, the joys of texting and being a pervert

It was a nice day at a G8 meeting and Italy was getting bored listening to the fatass America grumbling about hamburgers and whatnot so he decided to text his grumpy brother.

Italy: ciao Fratello~ ;)

Romano grunted at the feeling of his phone vibrating in his pocket so he took it out and saw Italy's text. He looked up and saw his brother winking at him. Blushing, he texted back.

Romano: what the hell is your problem?

Italy giggled to himself and texted back swiftly.

Italy: oh nothing~ Just thinking about you~

Romano: wat.

Italy: I was thinking about you... And me.... Together... ;)

At this point, Germany was getting annoyed at hearing Italy giggling like a silly school girl so he glance at the Italian man and saw a text.'re so gentle... And nice when we do it.

Romano: I know I am... Because I don't want to hurt you.

At this point, Germany was blushing redder than a tomato. What the hell where they talking about?!

Italy: mm... I feel safer when I do it with you... I bet Germany would be very rough ;n;

Germany was now super confused and offended. What could Romano do that was more gentle than he?

Romano: I know. He's such a potato bastard. Don't worry after we're done this meeting, its only gonna be you and me.... ;)

What the hell was going on?! Romano winked in a text! This was some crazy shit right here! Was Italy and Romano having an incestuous relationship?! Germany's mind was filled with dirty thoughts about the two Italian boys. He didn't even noticed when Italy stood up and excused himself to use the restroom and was then followed by his brother. Germany wanted to find out.

~By the power of Ra! I command a timeskip!-

Germany followed Italy to Romano's house after the meeting. He wanted to know what was going on with the two brothers.

"Ciao, Fratello~" Italy cooed when the door was opened to reveal a Southern Italian in only boxers. Germany felt his nose hurt as he stared the two brothers. Romano welcomed his brother with a smirk and closed the door behind him.

Germany snuck over to the window and peered in to catch both brothers hugging each other. That was a rare sight to see... But then Italy kissed his brother... On the lips! This was serious shit going down. Germany continued to watch as the brothers continued a heated makeout session. They fled to the upstairs floor making Germany upset. He wanted to prove his suspicions right. He climbed a tree to look into the room they had entered and watched as Italy laid down on the bed wearing only boxers. Romano was in his closet looking for something.

Germany squinted and saw Romano pop out of the closet with... A bag of balloons.

What da hell... Germany thought as he watched Romano blow up the balloon, tie to close, and then start hitting Italy with it. Germany watched as Italy giggled and took a balloon and did the same thing. The continued until the bag of balloons was empty. Germany had been laying on the branch and was just staring at the brothers' balloon fight. Suddenly a crack sounded and he started to panic. The tree branch broke from his weight and fell to the ground with Germany still on it.

Romano heard Germany yell and walked over to the window to see the German man on the ground next to a broken branch. He smirked and returned to his brother.

"Stupid bastard. Spying on us.. Thinking we were "doing things" he chortled and then smirked at his brother.

"Luckily he won't see everything." Italy purred and giggled as Romano pecked his cheek.

"So true~"
This is what happens when I cannot sleep and it's a scool night. XD Damn... I was laying in my bed and then I started thinking about balloons and then Italy and then texting... And then how much I really dislike GerIta (don't kill me!) And how I found Itacest better I guess thus this was born. XD That party that I went to earlier... I think it was the coca cola... Damn caffine... Gah I gotta get some sleep or else..
Nothing belongs to me.
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romanoxfeli Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with you, I'm not all for Gerita. I really love Itacest! And this fic made me laugh so loud I'm sure my neighbors heard me. Balloons? hitting each other? With balloons?!? GENIUS!
TheRealFemaleItaly Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL! Personally with Italy I prefer EngIta, no matter how cracky it is!
NostaligicDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
XD itacest and itapan are the only ones with italy that I ship. XD
TheRealFemaleItaly Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I ship EngIta, Itacest, GerIta, and ChibitaliaxHRE...
NostaligicDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, GerIta is too main stream so I'm not really into it..
thelittleraichustory Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014
that's why i dont realy ship it...
yamiyuki1 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
LOL what the heck did I read minion?
NostaligicDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

yaoi crack?
yamiyuki1 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

NostaligicDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
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