You Don't See Me

You Don’t See Me

The wind blew gently against Francis’ flaxen locks as he sat under the shade of a tree. His azure colored eyes studied sadly the sunset as he wrapped his arms around his knees, bringing them closer to his chest. He rested his head on his knees, and continued to gaze at the sun falling over the horizon line. The sky slowly became a dark blue from a light orange. Once the sun disappeared from sight, gradually, the stars began to twinkle like millions of diamonds in the sky. Francis sighed as he watched them appear, remembering how much those stars meant to him.

“There are a lot of stars up there, huh?”

He flinched slightly as his mind brought up one of his most painful memories. He shook his head and returned his gaze at the small town that sat near where he sat. Lights in the small houses were turned on, casting shadows of the people who turned them on. Francis gazed at one house, and saw the silhouette of a couple hugging. He flinched again, feeling as if someone had squeezed his heart roughly.

“Oui, I like them. They are so beautiful.”

Tears pricked at Francis’ eyes as the memories continued to flood back to him. He closed his eyes softly as remembered his childhood days, running hand in hand with his childhood crush. As long as Francis lived, he would never forget those beautiful jade colored eyes. And that soft brunette hair that he loved to touch and play with.

“They remind me of your eyes when you laugh, Francis. Your eyes twinkle…~”

Francis laughed dryly as he remembered the empty promises that Antonio made him. They were all beautiful, but empty promises that he had broken now as an adult. Most of them were promises of love, protection, and friendship. Ha, it didn’t matter anymore because they weren’t friends anymore.

“Merci, but your eyes twinkle too. More than mine do, mon ami.”

He couldn’t believe that with three words, their friendship was ruined. And all because Francis believed he had a chance with the Spanish man.  He thought that because of their friendship and because all of what they had been through, Antonio would love him back. How sickeningly amusing it was to remember that Francis was replaced by an Italian man that would never love Antonio back. A man that barely knew Antonio compared to how much Francis knew about him.

“But yours are more beautiful. Being all blue and sparkly… I love your eyes, Francis.”

Francis scoffed a little when he first saw Lovino treating Antonio rudely. It was impossible for the French man to see what his friend- no, what Antonio saw in him. He remembered hearing him squeal about how ‘cute’ Lovino looked when he blushed. If Francis wasn’t raised with manners, he would have scolded the Spanish man, telling him to quit telling him about things that he didn’t care about. And since Lovino was the object of Antonio’s affection, Francis would have snapped and walked away, not caring if he hurt his ex-friend’s feelings.

“Ah, I am flattered, but I must say that your eyes are far more beautiful than mine. Yours sparkle like gems, mon ami.”

Francis shivered lightly as another cold breeze brushed against his body. He snuggled more into his coat, searching for a kind of warmth that he had been accustomed to as he sat under the tree. Tears had begun to cascade from his eyes as he was reminded that he wasn’t enough for Antonio. Being friends since kindergarten and still, Francis was not enough for him.  And would probably never be.

“Francis, stop trying to make me sound like I’m better than you. We both know that you’re the diamond here.”

A sad smile formed on his face as he remembered every happy moment he had with the Spanish man. They made friends with a German kid named Gilbert, whom claimed that he was Prussian and awesome, became known as the Bad Touch Trio during their years of schooling, and graduated all together with great grades. It was like a dream to think about all the good things that happened between them.

“Toni, I am only telling the truth. If you don’t believe me…. Then that’s okay with me.”

Francis sniffled and looked back up at the stars, knowing that they had watched every tender moment he had with Antonio. He knew that know they twinkled sadly at seeing such a beautiful friendship end terribly. It was something out of a cheesy soap opera, but somehow, there was some truth to those kinds of situations.

“Te amo, Francis. You’re my best friend.”

“...Je t’aime trop..."

Francis sighed and stood up. He took once last glance at the beautiful night as his tears continued to fall.

More than you'll ever know...